"Forgiving My Father" By Lucille Clifton

In the poem, “Forgiving my Father” by Lucille Clifton, we discover that the parents died and their daughter was haunted by many angry disputes between her parents over money.  The daughter seems to be on her mother’s side as she used “old liar” to describe her father.  The daughter felt angry and bitter towards her father because she was put in the middle of a difficult marital relationship.  She realized that her father was “the son of a needy father” (Clifton, 13).  Here, the daughter felt as though the father was raised in a household he had created for their own family and so she realized it was not quite his fault.  Towards the end of the poem, the daughter began to gradually forgive her financially irresponsible and emotionally abusive father.  Clifton uses this poem to portray the complexity of family relationships and the compounding effect of poverty.

The daughter remembered Friday as payday and she was waiting for her father to pay her mother even though he did not have any money.  The daughter criticized her father throughout the poem by describing him as “daddy, old pauper,” “old prisoner,” and “old dead man” (Clifton, 20).  These descriptions of her father show us that the daughter emotionally detached herself from her father.  In the beginning of the poem, the daughter made it clear that she cannot go on with her life and the mother cannot rest peacefully because they both believed they were owed.  The mother and father both died, but the daughter felt as though she was left with the mess they left her and she found this to be completely unfair.

Clifton uses words such as bills, payday, rich, due, pocket, bargain, collecting, debtors, and accounting as single metaphors to describe money as an extended metaphor throughout the poem.  The title represents the tone of the poem which is the center of forgiveness.  The daughter forgave the “old dead man” (Clifton, 19) despite her feelings of him being solely accountable for the shortcomings. The daughter claimed that there would never be enough time for her father to repay all the monetary and emotional debt he owed to the family.

The daughter was “side by side in debtor’s boxes” (Clifton, 22) to symbolize the lack of love and affection of her father.  The father did not provide the love he should have provided to the family to keep their relationship alive.  The father left her nothing but the haunting memories of him in her dreams.  Clifton uses the simile “All week you have stood in my dreams like a ghost asking for more time” (Clifton, 4).  Unfortunately, for the father, there is not any time left so it was up to the daughter to forgive him.

On a personal note, my family has always been financially stable, and for that I am so very grateful.  My mother and father worked hard to provide for our family.  They split when I was around 10 years old and my father moved back to Monroeville, Pennsylvania.  I can relate to the daughter in this poem because as my father moved further away, our relationship drifted as well.  For years, I was unable to receive the love and affection from my father like a daughter should.  Fortunately, I have one of the most amazing mothers who not only played her part, but my father’s as well.  Although we received a child support check in the mail each month, I would have much rather felt loved and appreciated, and I am certain my mother wanted that as well.  As I grow older and become more mature, I am able to forgive my father because I realize that letting go will lead me down the path to healing and peace with myself.  This will allow me to become a stronger and better person for when I have kids of my own.

In the end of the poem, the daughter evenly put the blame on both parents by saying “you were each other’s bad bargain, not mine” (Clifton, 19).  Although the majority of the problems came from the father, the daughter found that those problems must be kept between the mother and father because she should not have to deal with the leftover stress alone.  At the end, the daughter asked what she was collecting because she finally recognized that she will not get anywhere in life by dwelling over a situation that cannot be fixed, so she ended with forgiveness.